BEING CARING AND SELFISH

 Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Like many of you I have tried many things in my life. A long time ago I noticed that whenever people said they were trying to do something, they failed to successfully reach their stated goal. I always told my children “do not try”, “do!” It was something I learned from my father a long time ago. He would present what seemed to be impossible task and if I complained, he’d tell me, “Butch find a way and get it done.” I’ve told that story every time someone asks me how I did something that appeared to be beyond my capacity. My daughters probably were sick of hearing this story by the time they left home but it fostered their success.

I have not done this with everything in my life and there are some moments I wish I could do over. My academic performance in college did not meet my expectations or any one that knew me. I was not interested in my own success and did spend enough time on me. I seem to always give it my all when it involves people I care about but frequently find ways to sabotage myself. In order to be able to do what I am doing now, I knew I needed to exam a simple question. Do you care about you as much as you care about others and if not why not?

Challenging question isn't it? Can I answer it? Yes! Do I want to answer it? No! First let me tell you why I think I need to publicly answer it. When my first opportunity to lead in a professional setting presented itself I was a little reluctant. I was reluctant because it was my experience that people will follow until it becomes difficult and at different times in my life, quite dangerous. As a reference, while attending college as a freshman, I was named in a Wheeling, W. VA newspaper as the “Leader of the Blacks.” This was in 1975 and it brought a great deal of unwanted attention to an introverted by outspoken 17 year old African American male.

My experience in college really marked me and I consciously avoided any leadership roles. I did not want to experience what I perceived as betrayals and cowardice from the very same people I protected. Who would protect me? I stepped out on blind faith realizing that the people you expected to protect you were usually not the ones that did it when you needed it. However the phenomenon continued to be a concern. Would I be left holding the bag again when I challenged authority as this project required?

While discussing this troubling concern, a friend said to me, “You appear to not be afraid of anything.” I was surprised to hear this from a friend who knew me pretty well. She went on to say that, “this perception of you by others is why they will not follow you when it gets hard.” I requested more information and they went on to say “most people are afraid and if they think you are not, than you are different. They do not equate what you do with what they believe to be their capacity and it is because you do not share your fear. If they are afraid and think you are moving forward without the same fears they know they have why would they follow you?

This was a very revealing moment and it is the reason I am sharing this personal story with you today. So my reluctance to take on a leadership role again was not warranted. I stepped up and did it well for about 13 years resulting in many people still being served by entities like the EPIC Stakeholders, the Truancy Courts and Girls TRACK. I expressed my fears and concerns openly and they followed me into the fire. I was successful as one of the leaders and we were successful.

But again this was for someone else other than me. I believe I was a great father again motivated by the desire to care for someone else. When I really think about it ever fight I ever was in was me protecting someone. In fact the seriousness of the weight training had/has a lot to do with my desire to protect those around me.

Selfish is a word that when I hear it, like many of you, I think oh no, not me. If you were raised in Catholic School you heard the evils of being selfish all the time. It was defined for me as uncaring, lacking empathy etc… and I believe it was for many of you as well. In fact in the thesaurus in MS Word they use the terms, self centered, self seeking, and the antonym is altruistic. Wow, who would want to be that? None of us do, right! Well there are some things you may accomplish in life without being selfish but some will require some selfishness on your part.

Being perceived as selfish is a fear and barrier for me. When I wrote in an earlier blog titled, “I Quit,” about needing to change the way I think in order to succeed at smoking cessation, this is the change required. So let’s re examine the word selfish. Doesn’t it really mean to take care of oneself? What is wrong with that? We are told it all the time particularly as we interact with those that care about us. Don’t you hear “take care” frequently from loved ones? Don’t you hear constantly, “be careful?” Can’t be all bad if it is constantly being recommended to us by loved ones, strangers, and those charged with caring for us.

So why aren't we able to do it? Why can’t we set aside a minute, or tens of minutes each day or week to take care of ourselves? Maybe it is because it is erroneously associated in the foundations of our learning and unconscious memory with the word selfish. I offer to you that Webster and others have done a piss poor job of defining this word in its entirety. The definition needs to be expanded to include a benign statement of “caring for oneself.” Being selfish and caring for others are not “Mutually exclusive.”

I have tried to stop smoking many times and for many reasons including wanting to share this planet with my daughters for as long as possible. I was never successful before because for me it requires being selfish to succeed at something that is so hard to do. In past attempts I struggled mightily each moment of each day. In fact if I did well I would award myself with a cigarette or 2 or 3. Whoa, here comes self sabotage served with a good measure of self delusion.

It was not until I decided that I was as important as all the people I have cared for, protected and risked my life on occasion that stopping smoking became possible. It requires me to provide care for myself in the same way I do for my daughters and wife. I am on track and succeeding because I was able to focus on me. It started with expanding the definition of the word selfish to include positives rather than being perceived as exclusively negative. I realized I deserve the same care that I provided for others and it would be okay. I am not smoking for the first time in almost 40 years as I am caring for me.

I tell this story to encourage you in whatever endeavor you may be trying to do right now. Despite how it may look everyone has fears even when they will not express them. Whether it is better health or a better life, it is okay to care for yourself while you still care for others. I am inspired as my thought process has changed and now I am rewarding myself for success with another moment of non smoking. It has also inspired me to move forward with my business and succeed there as well. My hesitation is the amount of self time and commitment to self it will take to succeed.

So take it from me it is okay to spend some time each day being selfish. Turn the world off and figure out what you need and want for yourself. Some may turn their back; bad mouth you and even sabotage you and hopefully you understand it is okay to care for oneself. Get Up Get Moving, Get Selfish and know that it is very difficult to be Healthy without being Happy. Fill your cup as high as you wish and then share its contents.

“CHIT CHAT WON’T BURN FAT”

13 TIPS TO.....

Improve Your Health

Always Eat Breakfast                     

People who eat breakfast are much more successful at keeping weight off. When you skip meals, you become calorie deficient and usually end up binging later in the day.

Snack throughout the Day          

You know the saying, “Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry?” Try it. Snacking can actually help some people eat less. By eating between meals, you can help reduce hunger pains and binging later in the day. Eat foods such as fruits, vegetables, and nuts in between meals. They will keep you full and they are healthier options than potato chips, pretzels, and sweets.

Drink More Water                          

By replacing soda, alcohol or coffee with water, you can cut a significant amount of calories from your daily routine. Many people can effortlessly lose 10 pounds by simply replacing soda with water throughout the day. Be aware of alcoholic drinks as well—a jumbo margarita can have up to 700 calories. Also try drinking water before your meal. The water will help break down the food more effectively.

Make Your Own Meals                                

Restaurant food generally has more salt, more fat and more calories and is served in larger portions than food cooked at home. When you make your own meals, you can control the amount of salt and oil, as well as the portion size. If you have to eat out, try splitting one dish between two people or ask for half the meal to be wrapped up before it comes to the table.

Reduce Your Stress Level            

Many people eat more when they feel stress; the stuffed feeling makes them feel comfortable and helps them relax. Try other ways of relaxing, like a hot bath or a walk around the block. Slow down,  and breath while enjoying each meal. Say a prayer beforehand or take a moment to be grateful for the food you are eating.

Get Enough Sleep Each Night    

There is growing evidence that missing out on sleep can increase your appetite. Most people need about 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

Keep Moving                                    

Start with small changes like getting off one stop earlier on a train and walking the rest of the way or parking in the back of a parking lot. Take the stairs whenever possible. Instead of meeting a friend for coffee, meet for a walk, or a bike ride or take a dance class together.

Keep Track                                         

Whether you keep a food or exercise journal on a regular basis, find a method that will keep you motivated and help you track your progress.

Be A Food Detective                     

Read food labels and don’t eat anything you can’t pronounce. Stick to simple, whole foods that will nourish your body.

Identify Your Temptation Foods

You know whether they are salty or sweet, fried or creamy, and you know that if they are within reach, you will want them. Do not keep these foods in your home or office and get support from your family and friends with these foods.

Take A Multi Vitamin                    

Everyone can benefit from well-rounded nutrients. Some evidence suggests that by adding specific high-quality nutrients to a well-balanced diet, you can improve your metabolism and many enzyme processes for greater vitality and health.

Replace Processed with Whole Grains

Switch from simple to complex carbohydrates, like nuts and beans and eat lots of vegetables. You’ll lose weight and improve your health. Plant foods are so low in calories that they force the body to burn its own fat. Nobody gets fat on a diet that’s made up largely of green vegetables, sweet vegetables, whole grains and small amounts of high-quality animal products.

Begin a Weight Training Program

Moving is a great way to burn fuel (and I recommend it) but building muscle is important if we want to improve our health. There is growing evidence that building muscle promotes good health physically, mentally and spiritually. Muscle also burns fuel while our bodies are at rest. Spend the money- get a trainer and improve your health. Invest in yourself.

These tips are beneficial for everyone, whether in good health or poor, city or suburbs, to improve yours and your family’s health. They require no great strain. 13 steps to create a better life and even if you do not do all of them you will still improve. Doing all 13 will transform your life in ways you may not be able to imagine depending on how far you have let your health go. But it does not matter take one step today and you will already be on your way.

So Get Up post this list on your bedroom mirror, refrigerator, and in your office or cubicle to remind you of how simple it is to have a better life. Get Well, and watch how some will follow you to better health and wellness.

Remember “CHIT CHAT WON’T BURN FAT”

ARE WE BECOMING WHAT

We Eat?

THE ENERGY OF FOOD

I have heard many time you are what you eat. Well there is growing proof that the fuels we consume affect us more than physically and emotionally but behaviorally as well. Growing evidence indicates that we begin absorb the negative or positive energy of food. If so does the poor quality foods consumed in our lower economic neighborhoods impact the behavior we see in these areas? We find more violence, crime and aggressive behaviors in many low income neighborhoods. Sociologist and counselors will tell us it is the bad environment, bad parenting, and social influences.

What if the poor fuel we consume on a regular basis is a major contributor as well. What implications will this have on policy and planning for our legislators? More research is required before we can make this leap but I certainly think it needs to be considered as well. We do know that there is a link between food and mood. I also think it is safe to say people in a bad mood are more aggressive.

Research into this will probably not happen but pay attention to how you feel when you eat poorly and how it affects your mood and subsequently your close relationships. The food industry certainly will not fund such a study and the people who are supposed to protect us are corrupted by the money and influence of the lobbyist. So it is up to us to determine what fuel is best for us by paying attention and figuring it out on our own. Read below and see what you think….

As you increase awareness about the foods you consume, consider that each food has its own unique energy, beyond vitamins, minerals, fats and carbohydrates. When we eat, we assimilate not only the nutrients, but also the energy of the food. Food has distinct qualities and energetic properties, depending on where, when and how it grows, as well as how it is prepared.

By understanding the energy of food, we can choose meals that will create the energy we are seeking in our lives. Virtually no one in the field of health and nutrition speaks about the concept of food having energy, but if you stop and think about it, it intuitively makes sense. Vegetables have a lighter energy than proteins. Animal meat from tortured animals has different energy than meat from animals that lived a peaceful existence.

If you practice yoga or have been to India, you may have heard the word prana, a Sanskrit word simply translated as “energy.” This word is just one way to describe the vital life-force energy that exists around us and inside of us. Energy comes from the universe, from air and from food. Yogis believe that certain foods, such as fresh produce, have a greater amount of energy than foods that are heavily processed or that have been reused a day or two later.

It makes sense: when you eat foods with more energy, you will have more energy. Steve Gagné, author of Energetics of Food: Encounters with Your Most Intimate Relationships, says that all food has an essential character. He analyzes where foods come from to help identify their essence. Plants sprout from a seed; some animals are hatched from eggs, while others are birthed by their mothers and nurtured through infancy.

Regarding plant food, consider where, when and in what direction it grows. Greens, such as kale, collards and bok choy, reach up toward the sun, soaking up the chlorophyll. Eating foods that are rich in chlorophyll provides our blood with oxygen. For this reason, greens are powerful mood enhancers, lifting the spirit. Squash and gourds grow level with the ground and help balance moods and energy levels. Root vegetables, such as carrots, parsnips, beets and burdock, grow into the ground and absorb the nutrients from the soil in which they grow. Therefore, they have a strong downward energy and are great for grounding us when we feel over stimulated.

In contrast to these vegetables, think for a moment on the character of a donut. It starts with dough, made of wheat and sugar; then it’s deep fried, probably in a less-than-desirable oil. Often it’s filled with jam, cream or custard, or topped with a sweet glaze of icing. What kind of energy do you imagine you get from this donut? How would that differ from the energy you get from eating organic roasted root vegetables?

As you cultivate awareness around the energy of your food, and how it is passed onto you, you will begin to make greater strides in recognizing your own mind-body connection.

So give it some thought the next time you want to shove some junk in your mouth. Do you want to become that item you are eating? Do you want that negative energy in your life only to be shared with your loved ones. You do so much to protect them and maybe you are being sabotaged by the nutritional choices you are making. The physical outcomes are bad enough. Do you really want to risk your mental health and relationships as well

from 'Integrative Nutrition'

Get Up Get Moving and Go Get Good Fuel and remember 

"CHIT CHAT WON'T BURN FAT"

7 BEAN AND

 Bok Choy Soup

Ingredients:

1	Onion
2	Red peppers
2	Yellow peppers
2	Large smoked turkey wings
2	Tspn Cumin
1	Bok Choy
4	Large potatoes
1	Bag 7 bean soup mix
1	Tbsp minced garlic
1	Tbsp black pepper

Directions:

1.     Use a large stock pot to soak beans in water  6-8 hours or overnight

2.     Boil smoked turkey until tender (skin is easy to remove)

3.     Chop peppers, onions and Bok Choy into small pieces

4.     Pour off water from beans and rinse the beans. Fill stock pot with fresh water and boil beans until tender (2-3 hours)

5.     Peel and Cube the potatoes. Place them in a bowl and cover with water

6.     When turkey meat is done allow to cool then remove skin and cut into small pieces

7.     When you are able to smash beans easily with a fork they are done. Add the minced garlic, diced onions, red & yellow peppers, and the turkey meat and other seasonings.    

8.     Allow to simmer for an additional 30 minutes for seasonings to mix well.

9.     Add the chop Bok Choy and the cube potatoes and allow to cook for 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender

Enjoy this delicious and nutritious recipe with your family and friends. Full of legumes, and added vegetables for plenty of protein, fiber and nutrients to improve your health and impress your palate. Enjoy your meal and afterwards Get Up Get Moving to Get Well and remember,

CHIT CHAT WON'T BURN FAT

Getting Healthy

 May Require Some Policy Changes

Do you have a supermarket in your neighborhood? If not, do you have access to reliable transportation to get to the supermarket? 

Clearly there is a correlation between eating healthy and having access to healthy fuels. In this country there is a large disparity between the wealthy and poor in accessing quality fuel for the body.

Researchers have measured geographic access to healthy foods in many different ways, and at nearly every imaginable scale: from national samples to detailed assessments of specific neighborhoods. Only one study has sought to calculate the extent of the problem nationally. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s 2009 “food desert” study examined access to supermarkets and determined that 23.5 million people cannot access a supermarket within one mile of their home.

Access to quality foods is important and is a significant reason for poorer health outcomes in low income neighborhoods compared to areas with higher incomes. Poor people get less quality food due to a lack of access and in many low income neighborhoods with a supermarket the quality of the products provided is not the same as in high income neighborhoods. Anecdotally, I can tell you that the expiration dates for meats in particular are shorter in supermarkets in poorer neighborhoods. No studies have been done but I challenge you to compare the expiration dates in an affluent neighborhood’s supermarket and one in a low income neighborhood.

By race, it gets worse. Yes even with our food race raises its ugly head. Ever notice how, many older African Americans relay stories of eating food that we would never dream people ate. For instance my mom refers to eating chicken feet. Have you ever seen a chicken’s food? How many of those do you have to eat to equal the nutritional value of a chicken breast? This is not history folks; I have seen these in supermarkets in African American neighborhoods but never in a white one.

This has historical significance and began during slavery when what was not wanted due to its poor quality was given to the slaves. This acceptance and in some cases desire for culturally traditional foods of poor quality continues to this day. Here is a short list, fat back, ham hock, pig’s feet, and chitterlings which actually are a part of the pig’s waste system. If it was not for our history would anyone eat this? The slaves did because they had no choice but we do. We need to make better choices about what cultural traditions we carry forward.

Stores located in low-income and very low-income zip codes in Los Angeles and Sacramento are less likely to stock healthy foods than stores in higher-income areas. Three in 10 food stores in a high poverty, predominantly African American community in Los Angeles lacked fruits and vegetables while nearly all of the stores in a contrast area that was low poverty and predominantly white sold fresh produce.

What we do know is that, when give access to better choices, many people will choose the better fuel. This correlates to better health outcomes and reductions in heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol and other chronic ailments that plague our communities. Adults with no supermarkets within a mile of their homes are 25 to 46 percent less likely to have a healthy diet than those with the most supermarkets near their homes, according to a study that used data from North Carolina, Baltimore, and New York City.

In this study, a healthy diet was defined using two different measures: the Alternate Healthy Eating Index, which measures consumption of foods related to low risk of chronic disease, and a measure looking at consumption of fats and processed meats.

African Americans living in a census tract with a supermarket are more likely to meet dietary guidelines for fruits and vegetables, and for every additional supermarket in a tract, produce consumption rose 32 percent. Among whites, each additional supermarket corresponded with an 11 percent increase in produce consumption.  This study used a large sample: 10,230 adults living in 208 urban, suburban, and rural census tracts in four states. Proximity to a supermarket is associated with increased fruit consumption among food stamp recipients.

So when given a viable option there is a difference in the health outcomes for families and communities. So there is some basis for New York’s and other communities wanting to limit the amount of sugary drinks in schools and communities alike. I am not a necessarily a proponent of this since it is a very small change and targets only one of many bad fuels marketed to us and our children. My thought is there needs to be a more expansive policy change and a redistribution of the supermarkets so access to better fuels is available to all.

This change in policy should not be limited to sugary beverages but should include but not be limited to:

·         Making certain low income communities have access to supermarkets.

·         Allowing empty plots to be used to grow fresh vegetables and fruits.

·         Limiting the number of convenience stores or requiring them to have better balance in the choices they provide.

·         Requiring supermarket chains to provide similar quality no matter the location.

·         Limiting the number of fast food chains in a census tract.

This will require a gargantuan effort since our politicians really do not want to take on the food industry in any capacity. They have already signed off on the policies that allow corporations to reduce the quality of our fuel and increase the profits in their pockets. I wonder how many of the people who profit from the slop they serve regularly eat the slop they serve. So we need to Get Up and Get Moving to demand better choices for ourselves and our children.

CHIT CHAT WON’T BURN FAT but it may motivate the politicians and other decision makers to make our health a priority. This is as much a threat to our community as the violence and drugs and if you have noticed no candidates in this election have mentioned those either. An effort to change what is available and marketed to our communities will require a great deal of energy from each of us. Will you join me in the healing process? Join the blog and follow along if you agree and want some better choices for yourself and your children.